Ode to the “Puma”: Reasons Why Men Should Date a Woman in her 30s

Ode to the Puma (sing to the tune of “Ode to Joy)

PUMA, PUMA, we adore thee, 30 is the new twen-ty.

If you are a single woman, over 30 years old, you should read this!  If you are a single guy under 39 years old…you should read this too!

The other day, my grandparents set me up on a date.  I didn’t know it was a date until we were half way through the “date”.  This date was a group effort,  in that his family and my grandparents were in cahoots.  Of course, if Chinese people are in involved, it always includes and elaborate dinner (pictures and descriptions in my next post).  The man was in his 40′s, kinda old, kinda stuffy, kinda boring, and kinda tired looking…not really my type.  His younger brother, on the other hand, definitely more my speed.  The fact that I was attracted and intrigued by his younger brother, does that make me a puma?

First things, first.  What is a Puma?  We have all heard of the urban “Cougar”, but some have you have not encountered the term puma.

A compilation of definitions from urban dictionary.com describe a “Puma” as:

1) An attractive woman in her late 20s or early 30s.  She is not quite old enough to be a cougar, but still dates men that are younger than her.

2)  A woman who is too young to be a Cougar, but too old for the men she wants.

3) A woman under 40 who discovers that men her own age prefer prepubescent, siliconed, bimbos to educated women their own age.

Example of its usage in a sentence:  ”I think that puma just grabbed my ass.”

Here is a chart for future reference:

Cub = 20′s Puma= 30′s Cougar = 40′s Jaguar = 50′s

If you are anything like me, I hate labels.  Although, I prefer older guys, there is something to be said about dating the younger guy.  In my church right now, I see a lot of woman in their 30′s that are single.  These woman, including myself (eh hem), are amazing, godly, beautiful, loving, and wise women.  Why in the world are they single?  I have also noticed at my church there are many women and men in their 20s that are single as well.  Here is the problem:  Guys our age (in their 30′s) can and tend to date the 20 something year olds if they are single, while the rest of them are either married, getting married, or getting out of marriage.   The twenty something year old women can date the twenty something year old guy , as well as the thirty year olds.  As a result, women in their thirties are in this weird relationship limbo and are left to compete with the twenty year olds for the remaining guys in our age group.

This “problem” is the reason I am writing an open letter to single men who are 39 and younger and to single women who are over 30.  I have a solution! Guys who are over and under 30, you need to forget about the women in their 20s and strongly consider dating women in their 30s.  However, I know my brilliant solution will need a little convincing on the sides.  So, here we go!

First, let me write to the WOMEN in their 30′s

YOU SHOULD CONSIDER DATING A YOUNGER MAN (and someone who goes to your church) rather than sitting on your aging ass waiting for God to drop on your lap, the perfect, never been married, no kids but wants kids, God-fearing, honouring, seven mountain climbing, worship leading, prophetic-businessman that loves quiet walks on the beach, wine sommelier by hobby, can cook, and is the same age or older than you.  It probably won’t happen (I know God can do anything, but it’s highly unlikely he will drop the perfect man, you have been fantasizing about, just because you saw it a movie, on your lap…you need a reality check and you got to be a bit proactive, ladies!).

At this point some of you might get mad at me, accuse me of having little faith, curse this blog and vow to never read what I write ever again.  Well, before you leave in a huff, read on and let me present my case.  On the other hand, some of you might start to muster up some excuses.  Let me guess what some of these excuses might be as to why you don’t want to date someone that is younger and from church.

You don’t want to date someone from church because:  ”I don’t want to put the friendship at risk, If we break-up, it will be really awkward at church, I don’t want the other person to not come to church because we are no longer dating, If we attend the same home group, I don’t want to be the one to leave my home group, I don’t want to get hurt and then have to see him every Sunday, I am at church to worship, not to date, etc. etc.”

Some excuses as to why you don’t want to date a younger man:  ”too immature”, “not enough depth”, “silly”, “my parents won’t approve”, “He will make me feel old”, “he will leave me for a younger woman”, “I am too strong for him”, “the men at church are very weak”…blah blah blahhhhhhh!

I AM NOT saying that you should date ANY younger guy (or ANY older woman).  I think you still need to be discerning, but don’t let a little thing like age be the roadblock to your happiness.  Furthermore, I feel you can protest and complain about everything and anything if you want.  What I really hear behind all that is fear.  For example, I used to be afraid of the smell of Durian.  Eventually I tried it, but didn’t like it.  Then I tried it again, still it was so-so.  Then I tried it again, by the third time, I really liked it and now I love it.  So, my conclusion is that you have to hold off judgement and try something at least three times before you say “hellz no.”

If that isn’t enough to convince you…check this out!

THE PROBLEM with the dating situation in church for the OLDER WOMAN

In my ten years of pastoring, I have witnessed an epidemic present in the church.  The epidemic of and growing population of single women in their 30s and 40s!  Let me introduce you to Patrice Wilson.  She became a Christian at the age of 37, and after she got baptized she promptly and obediently broke up with the man she had been dating for five years at the instructions of her pastor and church family.  The reasoning behind this is that she did not want to continue living ‘a life of sin’ with a man who had no plans to change his ways and settle down with her.

Furthermore, she admitted that she believed if she remained faithful, God would eventually provide her with a husband in the Church.  Thirteen years later, the mother of two adult children, now 50 years old, is still waiting for the Lord to bless her with a husband.

Here are some “facts” according to Wilson’s experiences: ”It’s twice as hard for a Christian woman to get married after the age of 35 than it is for a woman outside of the Church.  First of all, women far outnumber men in the Church, plus, the very few men who are available are interested in the younger woman, so it’s a real challenge.”

The point of highlight the story to you is not to stir panic in the Puma!  Don’t panic.  Do not be afraid.  Do not start grabbing any guy.  I just want you to see the reality of dating in the church.  Men our age are either married, about to get married, or getting out of being married.  However, there is a whole pool of younger men that are prime for the picking.

Pumas!  All I am saying is that you should broaden your pool of choices.  If you open up the younger guy pool, then that means you have more than doubled your chance.  You can date older and younger!  Isn’t that great!  Live a little.  Do not let your past, baggage, regrets or fear govern you decision making.

Now that I have convinced my ladies a bit, gotta work on the guys.  Younger men, Listen up!  Let me present my case to you:

Since we come from a culture where we prize youth and we are surrounded by male “role models” such as Hugh Hefner and his 20 year old bunny wives, I know you men need a little convincing.  Hopefully, after you read the next few paragraphs you will be persuaded that women in their 30s are superior to women in their 20s.

Old Man Young Lap. Hugh Hefner Culture.

Younger men, there are many reasons why you should consider dating a woman older than yourself.  I am not going reiterate what has been repeated over and over again throughout the internet, you can just google it.  However, out of all the other websites, I offer you the most important reason why you should date the older woman…when it come to your spiritual life, we got the hook up.  We’ve known God longer than you.

Furthermore, some of you don’t want to date or marry an older woman for a variety of reasons.  Most of these reasons you believe are not the truth, but myths generated by women in their 20s and sleazy men in their 60′s who like 20 year olds.  Here is the shocking truth behind the top ten myths about women in their 30s (and older).

TOP TEN MYTHS AND TRUTHS about WOMEN in their 30s:

1.  MYTH:  All women in their 30′s are desperate to get married.  TRUTH:  We are not desperate to get married.  Desperation to get married or otherwise is not limited to an age group or gender.  I know many woman and men in their teen, 20′s, 30′s, 40′s, and 50′s that are desperate.  Don’t stereotype.  Look at the person.

2.  MYTH:  If a woman is not married and she is over 30 years old, there is something wrong with her.  TRUTH:  We are single not because there is something wrong with us, but because most of us are picky (maybe overly picky and we need a reality check).  Another possibility is that a lot of us are single because we rolled the dice on a guy and they flaked out on us after dating for 7+ years (Hello?).  By the time we were single again, all the single men our age got married.

3.  MYTH:  Our life is incomplete without you.  TRUTH:  We have survived this long on our own, we can survive without you.  We are not looking for someone to complete us but someone that can run with us.

4.  MYTH:  We want you to be our little bitch.  TRUTH:  We don’t want you to be our little bitch.  We want you to be a man.  We will not eat you alive.  Contrary to the Puma moniker, we are not actual wild beasts.

5.  MYTH:  We read our bibles all day and pray for a husband.  TRUTH:  We do read our bibles, but not in a creepy way.  We do pray for a husband, but we also pray for anointing, our careers, and revival.  We have a variety of interests that include skiing, bungee jumping, wine tasting, restaurant hopping, dancing and clubbing, UFC and martial arts, gyming, and more.  That is probably more exciting life than you live, young pup!

6.  MYTH:  We want to be your moms and we don’t know how to have a good time.  TRUTH:  We do joke around and can be silly.  We are not your parole officer, nor are we the librarian (unless our jobs are actually parole officer or librarian).  We are not your mom.  We are not your teacher.  Do not think we aren’t fun and playful just because we don’t like people doing jello shots off our boobs.

7.  MYTH:  Our sex drive has has no horse power left.  TRUTH:  We like sex.  Actually, it is a biological fact that our sex drive and bits and pieces are at the most optimal in their 30′s.  Woman in their 20′s don’t know what the hell they are doing.  (Disclaimer:  All within the context of marriage, etc. etc.)

8.  MYTH:  Older woman are desperate to have babies!  TRUTH:  Although our biological clock is slightly ticking, it is not loud as you think it sounds.  Furthermore, with great health care and new technology, woman can give birth well into their 40′s e.g. Madonna.

9.  MYTH:  People will stare at you and judge you if you date an older woman.  TRUTH:  Is your identity in what other people think?  If it is, we don’t want you anyway.

10.  MYTH:  Older woman are too serious and tend to be boring.  TRUTH:  We are not boring and serious.  We can be boring and serious, but so can you!  We tend to come off as serious because we are passionate people that are busily pursuing our dreams and climbing our mountains rather than wearing hoochie look at me skirts, getting drunk off our asses, being cam whores, and having identity issues.  If that is what you are into, we don’t want you either!

YOUNGER MAN…not convinced yet?  Take this quiz, maybe you’ll change your mind:

1.  What is better, 20 dollars or 30 dollars?

2.  The creditors are after you, you ask for a grace period, what is better?  20 days or 30 days?

3.  You are a contestant on “The Biggest Loser, which is better to lose 20 or 30lbs?

4.  You are a contestant on the “X-Factor”, how many votes is better?  20 votes or 30 votes?

5.  You are on the Forbes List for Top Billionaires of the world, which will give you higher rankings?  20 billion or 30 billion?

6.  When you are doing cardio on the treadmill, after what seems like forever, you check how much time has lapsed.  What is better 20 min have passed or 30 min have passed?

YOUNGER MAN…STILL not convinced?  Here are some examples of successful May-December relationships to inspire you:

-Pastor Steve and Pastor Sonya (Don’t they have a lovely marriage?  Isn’t Pastor Sonya hot?  Isn’t Pastor Steve a lucky duck!?!  That could be you.)

-Mrs. Robinson and dude

-Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins

-Queen Elizabeth I (45 yrs old)  and her paramour the Duke of Anjou (26 years old)

-Aphrodite and Adonis

-Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon

-Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry

Lastly, YOUNGER MEN, if you need tips as to how to approach and date an older woman, here are some tips:

1.  If you ever text her or email her or type anything in general, never type like this: “I M t0tes c00l3r than 7u n00bs.” or “I <3 Pr0n.”

2.  Don’t use the word, “Derp” when you are out on a date.

3.  This is an example of a BAD pick-up line: “all your base belongs to us”.  (The younger guys will know what I am talking about)

3.  Leave any Magic Cards, Starcraft, Warcraft, W.O.W. conversations; obsession with Settlers and porn paraphernalia at home…please.

4.  Please be yourself.  If you don’t drink martinis, don’t order a martini and choke on it when you find out it is pure vodka.  Don’t talk about opera,  Dubai, caviar, CFA level 3 or anything you think is sophisticated if you don’t like it or never experienced it.  JUST BE YOURSELF!

5.  Don’t even think about dating an older, godly woman if you don’t have an spiritual covering.  Get some accountability, man!

As I turn down a second date with the OLDER man, I wonder if I am being too rash.  Then, I remember that I have a whole pool of men (older and younger) waiting for me in Vancouver.  Should I get a move on?  Probably.  But, if you are single and you fall into the age ranges that I have been talking about, you probably should get a move on too!  Be proactive, for crying out loud!  Sheesh!

Therefore, Young man, I appeal to you!  Be a culture shifter!  Be a man of adventure!  Change our lives and let us change yours!  Give the “older” woman a chance!  Men, step up, take the initiative!  Look around your church, your princess might be behind a familiar face.

Older woman…I appeal to you!  Be a culture shifter!  Be adventurous, broaden your dating pool and give a younger brother a chance!  They might just surprise you!  Ladies, take some action.  Right now you may be a puma, but in a blink of an eye, you might be a cougar.  This is Vancouver, don’t make it Vancougar.

I REST MY CASE…Date in peace.

——————————————————–

Side Note:  If you fall in neither category and are single…same advice to you.  Take a chance, date a person from church because the “one” might be hidden behind a familiar face.

P.S.  If you are a woman over her 30′s or close to it and if you are a man under 35 that wants to get set-up on a blind date, email me.  However, I will not be held responsible for bad dates, mismatches, sloppiness, and other dating misfortunes.  Good luck!

P.P.S.  This article is written largely for entertainment purposes.  While there may be truth in what I write, any person, place, or situation that bears resemblance to this post is purely coincidental or purely prophetic on my part.  Thus, don’t complain to me if it sounds like you.

P.P.P.S.  Also, if you are a female in your 20′s, don’t be offended.  I think you are great…We are just better…just kidding…not really.

NEXT FEW POSTS (in no particular order):

“Winner’s of the Food photo Contest”

“How to get a New Year’s Date Within 6 Hours”… Plus more, and I mean waaaay more food posts next time.

“A Buddhist, An Atheist, and A Pastor Walk into a Bar”

“Bangkok Burberry:  What Happens when you mix Classy with Sleazy”

I’ve got CATALYST ON MY MIND and so should you….

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