The Art of Penis Collecting

Would it surprise you if I told you that there are some special people in various parts of the world that share the hobby of penis collecting.  These various penis collections, of course, are sans original owner.  The collectors usually preserve the “prized specimen” in either jars, dried and mounted, or in the case of this female collector in China–immortalized forever in photographs.  The young Chinese artist began her collection through taking out an ad in the local Chinese newspaper.  She had previously completed a four-day stint as an experimental prostitute (for the sake of art), and now was curious to see if anyone would answer her ad calling out for male penis’ of all ages and sizes.  Her only condition was that the picture be a close-up (without the male’s body or face) and that the “model” be in its “microsoft” (how else can I describe it without being profane? ) version.  Almost immediately, her email was flooded with photos of male penis’ and her collection now, has over 2000 photographs.  What does she plan to do with them?  In an Mandarin language interview, she claims she will take all these photos and create an art show with them.   What has she learned from this?  She claims, “After awhile, they all start looking the same.”

On other side of the world, an Icelander, named Sigurdur Hjartarson, decided to open a Museum to show the world his eccentric collection of 143 penises from 41 mammals.  Here is the link to the official website: http://www.phallus.is/.  Before you click on the website, some quick notes:  If you wanna be safe from x-rated material, just click on the websites I link you to, rather than googling it because then you can avoid anciently googling porn sites.  Also, another warning, on the website there are many penis’ in a jar and phallic or penis shaped items–from a penis phone to a large penis sculpture.  Don’t go there if you are don’t want your modesty compromised.  (Oh by the way, if this talk of penis is making you feel…erhmmm…”excited”, well, my intent is not to cause you to stumble, so right now, think of your grandma ironing in her underwear, birds pooping on your car and someone eating the poo.  Imagine, acid melting cats and rats body parts in the hamburger you are about to eat.  Whenever, you feel tempted to watch porn, think and ponder on these things. I hope that helped. Back to my discussion).

These penis’ collections are not limited to those weird Asians and creepy Euros, Americans are also included in this bunch.  Even, famous late-night talk show host, Jay Leno has a penis collection—a penis rock collection.  This collection is not a euphemism for something else, it literally is a rock collection of stones shaped like penis’.  Words won’t do this collection justice, if you are curious, you can watch it on youtube, here.

This is an actual rock

Okay, two questions must be swirling around your mind right now.  The first one must be, “Why on earth would anyone want to collect a penis, never mind hundreds of penises?”  What is the fascination with all things phallic?  Out of all possible reasons, here is the most likely one, Penis Envy.

While, Urbandictionary.com defines this term as, “the cause of feelings of inferiority,” that is not the meaning, Sigmund Freud meant when he first coined the phrase.  According to Freud, in his theory of psychosexual development Freud suggested that during the phallic stage (around ages 3-5) young girls distance themselves from their mothers and instead devote their affections to their fathers.  This occurs when a girl realizes that she has no penis. “Girls hold their mother responsible for their lack of a penis and do not forgive her for their being thus put at a disadvantage,” Freud suggested (1933).

While Freud believed that his discovery of Penis Envy and other accompanying theories, were his greatest accomplishments, these theories are perhaps his most criticized.  Critics have claimed that Freud’s theories, reveals clearly Freud’s views on women, rather than being an insightful window into the female psyche.  Those against Freud claim that he (and other men) have “Womb Envy” (coined by Karen Horney, the neo-Freudian feminist and that his theory is completely misogynistic because the whole theory proposes that woman are mere broken versions of men.

These criticism are not off base, in fact, Sigmund Freud’s views on women stirred controversy during his own lifetime and continue to evoke considerable debate today. In a 1925 paper entitled, “The Psychical Consequences of the Anatomic Distinction Between the Sexes,” he wrote, ”Women oppose change, receive passively, and add nothing of their own.” Donna Stewart, M.D., a professor and chair of women’s health at the University Health Network, explained, “Freud was a man of his times. He was opposed to the women’s emancipation movement and believed that women’s lives were dominated by their sexual reproductive functions” (Lehmann, 9).

While woman are no longer relegated to the kitchen or the bedroom, the symbol of the penis has not lost its power.  You could blame it on the media for the perpetuation of this, but undeniably, the penis remains a symbol of masculinity, fertility and power.  Even among men, there is a great deal of attention placed on penis size causing anxiety among the male population that does not seem be declining anytime soon.  The penis has been the object of worship for many cultures, dating back to the ancient times.  But here is the interesting thing, upon further research, I noticed that a lot of the cultures and countries that venerate the penis are concentrated in the continent of Asia.  Let me provide you with some examples:

In India, they worship the Lingam, which is the symbol of the Hindu god, Shiva’s, penis.  To worship the linga one must first wet the statue with milk or water, then pray or meditate. There are smaller pocket-sized version which can be held in the hand and rubbed while meditating.

The Lingam

In Japan, every year, thousands of visitors come to the Mara Kannon Shrine in Tawarayama, Japan. The forest is littered with penis statues, some of which are over five feet tall. In addition to worshiping these tall statues, smaller statues can also be placed in the shrine and after years of worshiping, the shrine is literally over flowing with them.

According to the 450 year old legend, two politicians, Mr Oji and Mr Sue, developed such a hatred for each other that the feud eventually came to death threats. In order to protect his son, Mr Oji disgused him as a girl and hid him in the local shrine. When Mr Sue found Oji’s son, he cut off his head and severed his penis.  When locals heard about the killing they started to make wood and ceramic phallus’s out of respect to the boy. From then on, they never stopped making them.

Also, in Japan, they have a whole festival for the penis called, Tagata Jinja.  Although historians are not completely sure when this tradition started. Tagata Jinja is believed to be about 1500 years old.very year on March 15 a huge 9-feet-long, 620 lbs wooden phallus is carried a short distance between two shrines.  The ceremony has become so famous it attracts visitors from all over the world.

In Bhutan, The flaming thunderbolt is the symbol of a path to nirvana. Kunley a 16th century Buddhist monk also known as the Divine Madman, spent his life enlightening young women with the Flaming Thunderbolt – his penis.  LOL!

As well as the sexual experience, Kunley would give advice on spiritual peace.  And in exchange for his spiritual blessings, all of the women were required to pay him in beer (he’s Canadian!).  In Bhutan, the symbol of the Flaming Thunderbolt is highly respected. Over 80 percent of Bhutan’s 700,000 people are Buddhist, and nearly all of them use images of the Flaming Thunderbolt as a good luck symbol.

One of the best places to worship the Flaming Thunderbolt is at Kunley’s Chimi Lhakhang monastery, a three-hour drive from the capital of Thimphu. There, Monks use a large wooden phallus, carved by Kunley himself, to hit devotees over the head (LOL!) and bless them with it’s healing powers.

Again, in Japan, another festival to celebrate the penis called, Kanamara Matsuri (Festival of the Steel Phallus) is an annual Shinto fertility festival held in Kawasaki, Japan in spring. The Kanamara Matsuri is centered around a local penis-venerating shrine once popular among prostitutes who wished to pray for protection against sexually transmitted diseases.  It is said that there are divine protections also in business prosperity and the clan’s prosperity, easy delivery, marriage, and married couple harmony.

Kanamara Matsuri

After viewing these examples, is it no wonder that in Asian culture, people with penises are favored over people without.  From China’s one child rule to India’s epidemic of female genocide, the blatant favoritism of males over females probably stems from the worship of the penis.  This is thing about transvestites that really puzzles me.  Why, I must ask, in a culture (Asian) where men are favored over women, would they willingly chop it off?  Not only chop it off, but pay someone to do so?  Why would you chop off the thing that gives you favor.  I am sure many asian females wish they were men just so they have favor.  This male favor is no different in my family.  My grandfather definitely favors the boys over the girls–between and his sons and daughters, as well as his grandchildren.

Despite the what the critics have to say, perhaps Freud is not completely wrong.  While, I do not hate my mom because I don’t have a penis, undeniably, there are times when I wish I was a guy, particularly when it comes to my grandfather.  Because to my grandfather, no matter what I do or no matter what I say, my cousin (who is a guy) is better and thus, he will get more red pocket, more compliments, and more overall…just because he is a guy!  The only big difference, or rather small difference (he he he) between my cousin and I (besides the reality, that I am a better grandchild, if I say so myself), is the fact that he has a penis.  It is like the magic wand…one wave and magically all good things appear!  So, going back to the transvestites, why in the world would grown men willingly want to chop off their penis?  If you are going to chop it off, don’t throw it away…hell, I’ll take it.  I’ll collect all the penises that y’all don’t want, just so I can get more favor.  Okay, where am I going with all this…hold on, I have a point.

I highly doubt a penis collection would impress my grandfather and by the way, I am not really interested in starting a collection.  However, I do want favor.  More so than wanting favor from my family, I want favor from God.  This favor could appear in a variety of ways and through various channels (Spiritual Leaders, opportunities, or even family members).  However, in my observation of people, I think people are rather misguided about favor.  People often think favor is like “good fortune” or “good luck”.  People think favor is something that happens when you magically do all the right things and like an iPhone game, you unlock the next level, and favor is released.

Rub this to get "Good Luck" from God?

I believe God’s favor is something intangible where you’ve got God’s blessings on your lives. I’m not saying it’s not a struggle, but you believe for good things.  There are so many people who don’t expect anything good in life. They don’t expect to get breaks, they don’t expect to get promoted, they don’t expect anything positive.  I believe if we expect God’s favor, if we declare it, if we thank him when we do see good things happening, then we’re going to see more of that.  But it is not just the matter of name and claim it.  Favor is not something that is given or taken away when you are a believer.  Favor is part of your identity as sons and daughter of the God the King.  When we believe in Jesus and accept him in our heart and make him our Lord, we receive a new life, we become a new creation, and we receive Favor.  So, with favor, it is not so much how to get more favor, but how to unleash the favor that is already in you.

How do I know this?  Let’s go to the Bible.  In Scripture, it tells us one of the things Solomon emphasized in his treatise on growing up that makes up much of the book of Proverbs is finding wisdom. Chapter 8 is all about wisdom, and concludes with the relationship to finding wisdom and finding God’s favor. “For those who find me find life and receive favor from the LORD.” (Proverbs 8:35-36)  In the verse, you can see that Solomon is tying in the concept of when you find the wisdom, you find life, and in doing so you receive the favor of God.  So, as Christians, when we believe (we find life) and upon receiving life, we receive the Holy Spirit, as well as the favor of God.  In the Greek, the English word Favor is translated from the word, χαρις (charis).  But, you might more familiar with another translation, the English word, Grace.  As believers, we know that Grace is not just a one time shot, it is an ongoing thing.  It is not a thing to be obtained, but it is a state of BEING!

So, then you may ask, “Why don’t I see more favor in my life, if I already have it?”  Here are some possible reasons:

1.  You don’t have the paradigm to see the favor that is already in you.

Similar to the disciples on their way to Emmaus (Luke 24), they couldn’t recognize Jesus (the guy they just so happened to be talking about) walk beside them because they didn’t have the paradigm to see Him.  For example, every morning I go to the same Starbucks by my house.  Every morning the same barista makes my coffee.  He knows me by name and he knows my drink by heart.  However, one time I bumped into him at the theatre.  We stopped and looked at each other, he looked slightly familiar, but we didn’t know where we knew each other from.  This is hilarious because we see each other every morning.  However, on that day, we were not in our usual coffee shop paradigm, so we did not recognize each other.

In a similar fashion, many people don’t see favor in their lives because they don’t have the paradigm to see.  For us to see, we must believe (check on the Gospel of John, believing to see is the most repeated theme of the book!) Therefore, perhaps it is time to shift your paradigm.  RENEW your MIND, so you can start recognizing the favor of God and how His favor works in your life.

2.  You are confusing Favor with Favoritism.

Another reason you don’t see the favor of God is you confuse favor with favoritism.  How to test if this is you?  Ask yourself these questions.  When someone in church or wherever, gets highlighted over you, do you get jealous?  Also, just say your spiritual covering or spiritual leaders is showing more “affection” or pays more attention to someone else, do the feelings of competition stir up inside you?  Jealousy and competition are like poison in a church and is not Kingdom oriented at all.  The bible tell us to be thrilled when others are thrilled; as well as as crying when other people cry.  Feelings of jealous usually stem from  not knowing who you are in Christ and a misunderstanding on how God’s favor and God’s grace works.  So people, manipulate, struggle and have strife because they want to get more favor.  When a person does all these thing, they are actually saying they don’t want favor but they want favoritism.

When there is competition for favor, people don’t realize that their actions are crying out for favoritism.  They want to be the only ones and they want to get special treatment.  But you don’t want this kind of favor and you definitely don’t want favoritism.  YOu think you do, but you don’t.  This is the reason why.  Favoritism operates on performance.  It is all about what you can “DO” and what you can do more of to maintain it.  Favoritism puts a person higher than another.  Being the favorite means you are loved the best, which by default, means others are loved less.  This is nice place to be if you are the favorite, but for the rest of the population that means they don’t stand a chance unless the favorite is dethroned.  The reality of favoritism is that it is performance based and it requires a lot of energy to maintain that status.    For example, I am my grandmother’s favorite grandchild.  However, to maintain being in her good graces, I have to be like a slave/housekeeper/psychologist.  Every time I go visit them, I have to run a gabillion errands, cook gourmet meals of prime rib and rack of lamb, listen to her complain, pick up newspapers, pots, weird Chinese medicine, go to the hospital, give massages, etc., all so they can be pleased with me.  However, if I don’t perform, I start dropping in the rankings.

Favoritism is stressful.  However, the favor of God is attached to the Holy Spirit and our identity.  When we come to know our identities as sons and daughter, we uncover the favor that has already been given to us.  So, with God, His favor is more about BEING than DOING.  Doing is tiring and worrisome.  Being is easy, light, and burden free.  For example, in the last few years, I noticed that I have been receiving a lot favor and getting highlighted in my life from all sort so people.  While, this is great but then I started to get some anxiety on how to maintain this status.  This caused me to fear people, be jealous, and my competitive streak would come out.  However, then a revelation came to me, “What did I do to receive this favor?”  My answer…NOTHING.  Favor is grace.  Grace is favor.  So, now when other people get highlighted or when my Pastors Steve or Dave show attention or favor other people, I rejoice for them!  I didn’t do anything for my favor, so I don’t have to do anything to maintain it.  I just have to be and it flows out of me.  We receive, live it out, and God gets the glory.  That’s how it works.

At this points, some contrarians might argue that God the father showed favoritism to Jesus.  Okay, if you want to go with that…guess what?  Who is the guy that God the Father gave to die?  His fav…not so great anymore, huh?

3.  You have reduced favor to single events or situations.

Wat? Why you no upgrade?

Another reason you don’t see the favor of God in your life is that you have reduced it to a single, random “lucky” event or circumstantial situations.  Some people get a parking spot and call it favor.  Some people get upgraded on the plane and they call it favor.  While favor can be evident in those things or outwardly signs, don’t think you are out of favor because you did not get the upgrade.  Once again, favor is not a thing to obtain but it is a state of being.  So, when bad things happen to me, it is not because I am out of favor.  I don’t get anxious and fill myself with paranoia that God’s favor has somehow left me.  I don’t get upset at God when things don’t go my way.  We bless his name, throughout any circumstance–good or bad, when He gives or when He takes away.  You know why I can do this?  Because I am not in a functional relationship with God.

4.  You are in a functional relationship with God.

This leads me to my final point of why you don’t see more of God’s favor in your life, it is because you are in a functional relationship with Him.  If you are in a functional relationship with God, it is all about, “what have you done for me lately,” rather than true intimacy.  How does a person know if they are in a functional relationship with God?  Some simple questions to test yourself:  Do you get mad when God doesn’t answer your prayer?  Do you believe that when you sin, you are out of his good graces?  (Let me remind you that Jesus died for people, while people were still sinners.  So, you sinned.  No one is surprised.  God expected it.  That is why Jesus died, so when God is looking down at his people, he doesn’t see the sinful mess we are, but he sees Jesus.  His blood “covers” our sin and he stands in our place.  Let me also, remind you that it by grace you have been saved.  Not by your holy works or whatever you think you do so well.  Why is it by grace?  So no one can brag about it.)

You have a functional relationship with God if you love him one day and angry at him the next when he doesn’t answer your prayers.  You have a functional relationship with God if you seek his blessing over His actual presence.  You have a funtional relationship with God if you love Him only when He is doing what you want or expect him to do.  For example, Pastor Steve just got a new phone, the Samsung Galaxy.  On stage, he said, “I have never loved an Android, until now.”  Realistically speaking, does Pastor Steve really love his Android…like really?!?  Will Pastor Steve love his Android when it doesn’t recognize his face or when the battery doesn’t last all day?  Mostly likely, if the phone is not doing what it’s suppose to do, it is going to get traded in.  Pastor Steve has a functional relationship with his phone.  Similarly, some people don’t see the favor of God in their lives because they don’t have true intimacy with God.  They are seeking function, not presence.

Conclusion

I don’t want to start collection penises or to have one surgically attached to myself.  Really.  However, I want favor.  More than wanting favor from people, I want favor from God.  And even more than that, I want to have his presence.  What did we learn today?  Overall, favor cannot be stolen from me.  I do not have to work for it.  I do not have to try to keep it.  I do not need outward signs.  It is in me.  It is part my identity as a princess of God’s Kingdom.  It is who I am.  It is a constant state I am in.  So, I don’t have to seek favor.  I just have to seek God’s presence and favor will naturally come.

Yay!  I AM A CATALYST!

I’ve got Catalyst on my mind, and so should you.

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