You just got laid-off.  Your girlfriend dumped you.  You are getting a divorce.  Your child has a life-threatening disease.  You best friend betrayed you.  Your co-workers are gossiping about you.  You are broke.  You can’t get a boyfriend.  All your friends husbands and kids, and you are still single.  You are at a dead-end job.  You failed a course.  You are sick.  You have no idea what is the purpose of your life.  You have no real friends.  Your girlfriend cheated on you.  You got rejected by a date.  You are ignored and overlooked.  Life is full of setbacks and heartache. Life has it’s ups and downs and when we are down, we all feel sad or discouraged from time to time.

Some people turn to medication to alleviate depressions.  Medications such as, Paxil, Xanax, or Zoloft are used for the treatment of depression and helps to elevate mood.  How these medications work is that they increase the amount of a neurotransmitter, called serotonin, that is available in certain parts of the brain. Although you may start feeling better within a few weeks of treatment, but there is a price to pay for that temporary relief.  Common side effect include weight gain and erectile dysfunction, which ends up causing more depression over time.

Surprisingly, to counter this, a Canadian study shows that the impotence drug Viagra also improves symptoms of minor depression in men taking it for both conditions.

David, pre-king stage, he was at a point in time when he felt so discourage and so defeated that he was about to give up.  But he didn’t give up and neither should you, because when you feel that way, that is when Victory is imminent, if you just keep on, keeping on.  I’ll share with you the story and please read it carefully.  I pray it’ll lift your spirits.

DAVID AT ZIKLAG

Here is David’s situation, can you relate to it?

The snapshot were are about to see is that of David at Ziklag.  Here he is experiencing unbearable pain, unspeakable grief and overflowing sorrow is captured in a wrenching phrase.  David’s fortunes were at their lowest ebb. To understand his position we must go a little farther back in his history. David did not need to be in Ziklag. The path to Ziklag started from a lack of trust. Worn out by the persecution of Saul, he left the country where he was so ill at ease, and he went away into the land of the Philistines, expecting there to escape from further turmoil, but instead encountered trials of a worse kind.

David’s Ziklag experience contains a lesson that spans time and space, for out of the ashes of Ziklag’s sorrow and despair rises the smoke of a lesson that speaks in a language so basic we all can understand. Ziklag in many ways is representative of life and thus conveys a message that speaks to us all.  There are times when life caves in and the bottom falls out.

“And they wept until they had no more power to weep.” A time that may be announced by a text, a late night call, a physician’s conference, a test result, a circumstance where we wrestle with the brute facts of suffering and death. Where discouraged, disheartened, despondent, we struggle under the burden of private pain or unexpected affliction that literally turns our lives upside down.

That painful reality is decidedly disconcerting to many Christians, especially to the followers of the wealth and happiness doctrine, the comforting view that the Christian life means being protected from all adversity, forgetting that in John 16:33 Jesus promises, “in the world you will have trouble.” The fact is the Christian life does not insulate against a Ziklag reality. Piety is no guarantee of preferential treatment or easy passage, whether it’s at Jerusalem, Samaria, Ziklag, Vancouver, Surrey or Richmond.  The reality is the experience of pillows wet with tears, sleepless nights, difficult days. Times when life caves in and the bottom falls out.

As the scripture records, “David was greatly distressed.” His city was burnt, his wives were gone, the sons and daughters of his comrades were all captive, and Ziklag, where they had made a home, smoked before them in blackened ruins.  The people spoke of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters.  Could it get any worse?

Yes.  David’s men of war, wounded in heart, mutinied against their leader, and were ready to stone him.

He turned to the relationship he had always relied on. He found strength in the Lord his God.

And this emphasizes David’s intimate relationship with the one who from the beginning had always been with him. The strength he needed then, only God could provide. The secret of strength when the world is crumbling about us is in calling on God.

While the path to Ziklag started with a lack of trust in God, the path out of the Ziklag experience started with a renewed trust in God. The God who, in spite of David’s feeble faith and trembling trust, responded to David’s cry and his need. That loving God will respond to your cry and your need. For a sobering truth is, right now you may be at the Ziklag of your life. You may not need to imagine the worst thing that may happen—it’s happening now. Others may not be aware but you feel ankle deep in ashes. The path to your Ziklag might be different but the ashes swirl about your feet.

Here is what we can learn from David…Some tips for when the bottom falls out:

1.  ENCOURAGE YOURSELF

David, “encouraged himself in the Lord,” the Lord his God, the Lord who didn’t forsake him to the lion, or to the bear, nor to the giant.  He reviewed his past eventful life and his soul was refreshed, realizing that yes, there are times when life caves in and the bottom falls out, there is no time when God is not sufficient to provide all you need.

David encouraged himself!  Have you ever had to encourage to himself when no one was around?  When your friends are too busy?  When the pastor is unavailable?  David encouraged himself and you to as well!

HOW?

a.)  Read the Bible

Truth can make you stand when you can’t stand.

b.)  Read Some Quotes From The Greats

When I’m feeling down I like to read some quotes from some of the most successful people of all time.  This is a great reminder that EVERYONE must face setbacks.  In fact, it is a pre-requisite for success.  There is no record of anybody accomplishing anything without MANY setbacks and failures along the way.

Setbacks let you know that you’re making progress.

Here are a few of my favorites:

Success is the ability to move from one failure to the next with enthusiasm.
- Winston Churchhill

Most people give up just when they’re about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from a winning touchdown.
- Ross Perot

Every single peak performing human being, every single high achieving man or woman, has been a person who has thrown off the natural tendency to play it safe and stay within the comfort zone, and has continually tried to exceed their previous levels of accomplishment, has continually moved forward into the risk zone, to try something more and bigger and better and more important. Every single accomplishment in the history of man, has come from men and women who have had the courage to take the risks, to step out even though they had no guarantee or assurance of success…

In studying the lives and stories of the most outstanding men and women of all of history, we find that every single one of them has been a great failure. People do not understand the importance of failure in achievement. The fact is that it is impossible to succeed without failing, that failure is an indispensable prerequisite for success, and that all great success is proceeded by great failure. Every single person who has tried to accomplish something outside the ordinary has suffered setback and obstacle and defeat and adversity and disappointment and heartache over and over again as they have moved toward their goal. There is no record of anybody ever having achieved any kind of success without having failed over and over again. The only difference is that the winners continually pick themselves up and carry on knowing that ultimate success is inevitable as long as they keep on going on.
- Brian Tracy

2.  GET OFF YOUR ASHES, but HOLD ON!

HOW?

When I am down and feeling blue, the only way to get off your ashes, is to literally get of my a$$ and hit the gym.  Exercise does amazing thing to boost our mood.  Check it out:

Improved self-esteem is a key psychological benefit of regular physical activity. When you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphins. These endorphins interact with the receptors in your brain that reduce your perception ofpain.

Endorphins also trigger a positive feeling in the body, similar to that of morphine. For example, the feeling that follows a run or workout is often described as “euphoric.” That feeling, known as a “runner’s high,” can be accompanied by a positive and energizing outlook on life.

Endorphins act as analgesics, which means they diminish the perception of pain. They also act as sedatives. They are manufactured in your brain, spinal cord, and many other parts of your body and are released in response to brain chemicals called neurotransmitters. The neuron receptors endorphins bind to are the same ones that bind some pain medicines. However, unlike with morphine, the activation of these receptors by the body’s endorphins does not lead to addiction or dependence.

Regular exercise has been proven to help:

• Reduce stress
• Ward off anxiety and feelings of depression
• Boost self-esteem
• Improve sleep

Exercise also has these added health benefits:

• It strengthens your heart.
• It increases energy levels.
• It lowers blood pressure.
• It improves muscle tone and strength.
• It strengthens and builds bones.
• It helps reduce body fat.
• It makes you look fit and healthy.

3.  KNOW WHEN YOU FEEL SIFTED, YOU ARE GETTING SHIFTED!

When you are sifted, it might be painful, but you are getting refined!  It’s a good thing.  Don’t be quick to get out of the sifting because after you will be shifted!

Something is about to happen in your life, you got to believe it and you got to have hope.  If you have been through battle after battle…something is about to happen.  Let hope arise!  When you are going through ziklag….been through hell…God is going to do something.   JUST BELIEVE!  GOD IS GOOD!  LET HOPE ARISE!  GET UP! GET UP!  YOU CAN CAN DO IT!  GOD CAN DO IT! What is GOD going to do?  Check my blog tomorrow for PART II!  Destiny Awaits!

What do you do to “encourage yourself” or make yourself feel better?  How do you keep your spiritual life on track?  Please share your tips or suggestions in the comment box below.

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Coincidentally (or not), two of my close friends that live in California have dedicated their lives in the rescuing of women and children that are the victims of sex trafficking.  On March 16th, they are packing their bags and moving to Thailand, so they can be “hands on” and personally oversee a rescue home they built for these victims.

Meet Jeremy and Jenifer Kraus.  They are the founders and missionaries for Thrive Rescue Home in Pattaya, Thailand.

When you first meet Jeremy Krause, you might confuse him for a wrestler, biker or some crazy bouncer.  His beautiful wife, with her brilliant shoulder/arm tattoo is a fitting wife .  You might be scared.  However, this couple are the warmest, humblest, and friendliest people you could meet.  They are the real deal.  Before, I go into further detail about their ministry, let me give you some more information about human trafficking.

Human trafficking is the illegal sale of human beings, as like commodities, in order to meet demand for forced labor and commercial sexual slavery. Unfortunately, trafficking in humans is one of the most profitable and lucrative illegal industries of the world. Human trafficking statistics are alarmingly high and have even gone higher in the past decade.

Human Trafficking Defined

• debt bondage: people sold into slavery to pay for debts, but who can never repay the debt through work because of fees or exhorbitantly high interest rates on their loans.
• sexual slavery: people sold into slavery in brothels and in prostitution rings.
• child trafficking and female trafficking for either of these

Global Statistics

• Valued at over US$32 billion per year (ILO)
• Human trafficking is the second largest and fastest growing criminal industry worldwide
• 80% of trafficking victims are women and girls
• 50% of trafficking victims are minors (underage)
• 42% of those recruiting victims are women
• The average age of entry into prostitution or sexual exploitation is 12 years old

Based on those stats, you can see that human trafficking is very relevant to you and it could happen in your own neighborhood and you don’t even know it.  It is not just for third world countries, but human trafficking affects all North Americans.  If you have a daughter or a wife, this should matter to you!

THRIVE RESCUE HOME

Back to my friends, Jeremy and Jenifer Krause.  As I wrote earlier, they are moving to Pattaya, Thailand.  This city is known as the “world capital for child sex trafficking.”  When my friends first visited the city, they were heartbroken at the heart-wrenching faces of young girls trapped in sex trafficking.  This would leave a mark on their hearts forever.

As they walked the streets of Pattaya they thought, “we must do something, no matter the cost. After all, these girls are NOT for sale, they are PRICELESS.”

At Thrive Rescue Home, their specialized restoration of these girls is their heartbeat. The girls receive medical care, counseling, schooling and most importantly, they are cared for and loved.

Here is a video that you must see made by Thrive Rescue Home ==> HERE

Here is their strategy:

RESCUE by working with other NGO’s, government and police task forces.
RESTORE by providing a safe refuge where girls can receive restoration and protection after being rescued from a trafficking situation. We believe these precious girls have the right to a safe home where they can receive healing.

Through the Thrive Rescue Home in Pattaya where girls receive compassion, care and counseling.

RELEASE as a full-spectrum rescue organization and aftercare home we work with local and international agencies in rescuing, restoring and reintegrating girls that have been trafficked back into their families or communities.
RETURN –Through returning a child (if safe) to their home. If it is not safe for a child to return home, we make a long-term commitment in raising the child as our own.

EDUCATE–Children approaching college age will be trained vocationally or sent to college to fulfill their dreams!

You can help.  Here are some ways you can aid the movement to end human trafficking:

1.  Bring awareness

Here is their website:  www.thriverescuehome.org

2.  Donate

I am personally fundraising for my friends.  If you would like to donate a one time gift to their ministry, please contact me at catalyst@newjoychurch.com, before March 6th.  I will be sending them a cheque on the 7th.

Fitness Myth #1: Doing crunches or working on an “ab machine” will get rid of belly fat.

Don’t believe everything you hear on those late-night infomercials! Harr says that while an ab-crunching device might “help strengthen the muscles around your midsection and improve your posture,” being able to “see” your abdominal muscles has to do with your overall percentage of body fat.  If you don’t lose the belly fat, he says, you won’t see the ab muscles.

But can doing ab crunches help you to lose that belly fat? Experts say no.

You can’t pick and choose areas where you’d like to burn fat.  So crunches aren’t going to target weight loss in that area.  In general it seems the last area to lose fat is the first area to gain it. Men tend to store fat on the abdominal region whereas women accumulate it around the hips and thighs.

Training either of these areas exclusively (attempting to spot reduce) in the hope of losing fat will simply not work. Fat should instead be lost evenly. Training every body-part with equal intensity coupled with aerobic training remains the most effective means of losing fat. In order to burn fat, you should create a workout that includes both cardiovascular and strength-training elements. This will decrease your overall body fat content.

Fitness Myth #2: Swimming is a great weight loss activity.

While swimming is great for increasing lung capacity, toning muscles, and even helping to burn off excess tension, the surprising truth is that unless you are swimming for hours a day, it may not help you lose much weight.  Because the buoyancy of the water is supporting your body, you’re not working as hard as it would if, say, you were moving on your own steam — like you do when you run.  Further, it’s not uncommon to feel ravenous when you come out of the water.  It may actually cause you to eat more than you normally would, so it can make it harder to stay with an eating plan.

Fitness Myth #3: As long as I go to the gym 30-45 minutes, that gives me a pass to do what I want for rest of the day.

The gym doesn’t negate a bad diet.  Also, emerging research suggests that if you’re sedentary most of the day, it may not matter how hard or often you exercise.  People who spend more time sitting during their leisure time have an increased risk of death, regardless of daily exercise.

Sitting for hours can shave years off life.  In a study of more than 123,000 healthy people, the American Cancer Society found that women who spent more than six hours a day sitting were 40 percent more likely to die sooner than women who sat less. Men who sat more had 20 percent increased risk of death.  Essentially, those who sit less, live a longer life than those who don’t.

Fitness Myth #4: Use High Repetitions To Burn Fat.

Research has shown that moderate repetitions (8-12), rather than higher repetitions (20-25) are more effective in terms of fat-loss. To burn fat it requires, on average, 30-40 minutes of continuous aerobic exercise. Tacking on an extra 10 or so repetitions, and thus increasing the set from 30-seconds to 40 seconds will, on this basis, obviously not enhance the fat-burning process.

On the other hand, training with heavy weights and lower reps will build a larger degree of muscle mass and, as a result, stimulate the metabolism and burn more fat over the long term as muscle is a metabolically active tissue.

Fitness Myth #5: Skipping meals or crash dieting is a good way to lose weight.

Starving oneself over a short period of time will not enhance fat-burning. Depriving the body of calories will, in fact, have the opposite effect: muscle degradation and fat-gain.

Fact: Studies show that people who skip breakfast and eat fewer times during the day tend to be heavier than people who eat a healthy breakfast and eat four or five times a day. This may be because people who skip meals tend to feel hungrier later on, and eat more than they normally would. It may also be that eating many small meals throughout the day helps people control their appetites.

Tip:  Smaller servings of quality calories (clean food such as chicken, rice, turkey and vegetables) frequently, will more effectively boost the metabolism and contribute to muscle gain (which will also boost the metabolism). Crash diets will lead to frustration and curtail any chance of fat-loss.

Fitness Myth #6: Certain foods, like grapefruit, celery, or cabbage soup, can burn fat and make you lose weight.

Fact: No foods can burn fat. Some foods with caffeine may speed up your metabolism (the way your body uses energy, or calories) for a short time, but they do not cause weight loss.

Tip: The best way to lose weight is to cut back on the number of calories you eat and be more physically active.

Fitness Myth #7:  Lifting weights is not good to do if you want to lose weight, because it will make you “bulk up.”

Fact: Lifting weights or doing strengthening activities like push-ups and crunches on a regular basis can actually help you maintain or lose weight. These activities can help you build muscle, and muscle burns more calories than body fat. So if you have more muscle, you burn more calories—even sitting still. Doing strengthening activities 2 or 3 days a week will not “bulk you up.” Only intense strength training, combined with a certain genetic background, can build very large muscles.

You really have to overload those muscles to create bulk and it’s very, very difficult.  Women have too much estrogen to build large amounts of bulk. Guys build muscles faster because they have testosterone (that is why women need to take steroids to build crazy muscles).  So ladies, don’t fear the barbells.  Once again, strength training helps decrease body fat, increase lean muscle mass and burn calories more efficiently.

Tip: In addition to doing at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity physical activity (like walking 2 miles in 30 minutes) on most days of the week, try to do strengthening activities 2 to 3 days a week. You can:

• lift weights
• use large rubber bands (resistance bands)
• do push-ups or sit-ups
• do household or garden tasks that make you lift or dig

Fitness Myth No. 8: ”Going vegetarian” means you are sure to lose weight and be healthier.

Fact: Research shows that people who follow a vegetarian eating plan, on average, eat fewer calories and less fat than non-vegetarians. They also tend to have lower body weights relative to their heights than non-vegetarians. Choosing a vegetarian eating plan with a low fat content may be helpful for weight loss. But vegetarians—like non-vegetarians—can make food choices that contribute to weight gain, like eating large amounts of high-fat, high-calorie foods or foods with little or no nutritional value.

Vegetarian diets should be as carefully planned as non-vegetarian diets to make sure they are balanced. Nutrients that non-vegetarians normally get from animal products, but that are not always found in a vegetarian eating plan, are:

• iron
• calcium
• vitamin D
• vitamin B12
• zinc
• protein

• Vegetarianism

Tip: Choose a vegetarian eating plan that is low in fat and that provides all of the nutrients your body needs. Food and beverage sources of nutrients that may be lacking in a vegetarian diet are listed below.

• Iron: cashews, spinach, lentils, garbanzo beans, fortified bread or cereal
• Calcium: dairy products, fortified soy-based beverages or fruit juices, tofu made with calcium sulfate, collard greens, kale, broccoli
• Vitamin D: fortified foods and beverages including milk, soy-based beverages, fruit juices, or cereal
• Vitamin B12: eggs, dairy products, fortified cereal or soy-based beverages, tempeh, miso (tempeh and miso are foods made from soybeans)
• Zinc: whole grains (especially the germ and bran of the grain), nuts, tofu, leafy vegetables (spinach, cabbage, lettuce) Protein: eggs, dairy products, beans, peas, nuts, seeds, tofu, tempeh, soy-based burgers.

Fitness Myth #9: Natural or herbal weight loss products are safe and effective.

Fact: A weight loss product that claims to be “natural” or “herbal” is not necessarily safe. These products are not usually scientifically tested to prove that they are safe or that they work. For example, herbal products containing ephedra have caused serious health problems and even death. Newer products that claim to be ephedra-free are not necessarily danger-free, because they may contain ingredients similar to ephedra.

Tip: Talk with your health care provider before using any weight loss product. Some natural or herbal weight loss products can be harmful.

Fitness Myth #10: Our weight is the end all, be all.

Newbies hit the gym, and then weigh themselves every day on the scale.  Week-after-week, they see no downward trend on the scale and get impatient.  People starting saying, “I haven’t lost any weight. This is pointless, I’m not accomplishing anything.”  However, the fact is that after a few months of increased exercise, they are healthier because they’ve reduced risk factors such as blood sugar levels. Even though a person may not be losing weight, his health has improved in ways that might not be measured.

People are often stuck in this paradigm that weight is the ultimate barometer for fitness. They don’t realize the progress they’ve made and give up.  Personally, I never step on the scale.  I don’t know how much I weigh, nor do I care.  I monitor my size by my jeans and how they fit.

The Sensible Approach

Rather than subject oneself to any of the above erroneous practices it would be much wiser to concentrate on a sensible, balanced, approach. By keeping body-fat to a manageable level and losing excess weight over the long-term, greater, more lasting, gains can be made. Some suggested principals for successful fat-loss:

1: Eat Smaller, Frequently Spaced, Meals. 

Ok, maybe not this small...:DDD

Eating often will boost the metabolism and stimulate fat loss as long as the meals are relatively low in fat, moderate in carbohydrates and high in protein.

Protein has a positive affect on the metabolism while fat and carbohydrates can impede weight loss if they are eaten in larger amounts. Complex carbohydrates such as brown rice and kumara (sweet potato) are to be chosen in favour of those higher on the glycemic index (sugary foods and carrots for example).

Be sure to limit carbohydrates as the day progresses as they may converted into fat if unused. Six nutritionally dense meals per day, spaced every 2-3 hours, should be the aim. Eating smaller meals on a frequent basis will also ensure one will not go hungry, thus preventing a potential binge.

2: Train With Low-Intensity Longer-Duration Aerobics 3-4 Times-Per-Week.

Low intensity aerobic training (brisk walking for example) directly burns body-fat and stimulates the metabolism to assist weight loss during inactivity.  Aerobic training in the morning seems to work best as this tends to target body-fat directly, due to low carbohydrate stores at that time of the day.

3: Train With Weights.

Weight training will build muscle and this will, in turn, indirectly contribute to fat loss. The body will use energy in the form of fat to maintain muscle mass, given the fact that muscle tissue is highly metabolically active.

In theory, the greater the degree of muscle mass one has, the higher their metabolism will be and the easier it will be to lose fat.

4: Set Realistic, Short Term, Fitness Goals.
It is very important to plan for fat-loss. Failure to do so will result in inferior results. One should buy their groceries, set their training schedule and conduct their life with the goal of fitness and health in mind.

Important variables to remember are the achievability and feasibility of the goal. For example, someone a 100-pounds overweight would not plan to lose this weight in several weeks. It would be more effective to plan over the long-term and make steady improvements.

5: Use iPhone, iPod, iPad, or whatever kind of APPS to help you attain your fitness goals!

Hand in hand with goal-setting is progress charting, but who wants to tote a notebook around the gym.  Luckily, you don’t have to. Just download an app on your android or iPhone.

Here are some good ones:

1. Lose It

Cost: Free

Pros: Won’t cost you a dime; provides a simple way to track calories ingested in the form of food and expended in the form of exercise; has a fairly extensive library of standard and brand-name foods with accurate calorie, carb, fiber, fat, and protein values, all of which are trackable within the app; lets you set weight-loss goals and track over time.

Cons: Calorie budget and burn amounts per exercise aren’t necessarily accurate for all users, as the program doesn’t let you input your activity level or body fat percentage; certain foods have limited input amounts (for example, only cups when you might like to enter weight in grams instead); inputting data can become tedious over time.

Good for: Diligent record keepers who are serious about losing weight, or anyone who wants to gauge his or her overall calorie/carb/fat/protein/fiber consumption for reference in health and weight loss.

2. Fitness Pro

Cost: Free

Pros: This app is easier to carry around than a fitness magazine and offers the added bonus of an electronic log for your workouts; offers tips for newbies on types of cardio and proper form; lets you select exercises by individual muscle; some exercises can be done at home, with minimal equipment; includes a handful of preprogrammed routines and you can create your own as well.

Cons: All of the included routines require hard-core gym equipment; the exercises are pretty standard, so there will be no surprises for the seasoned fitness fanatic.

Good for: Fitness magazine faithful who are looking for a more pocket-friendly and flexible way to add new exercises and routines to their workouts; this app is also a good free option to be used in conjunction with Lose It for getting into better shape.

3. GymGoal ABC

Cost: $0.99

Pros: The free version offers 280 exercises with animations, and you can add your own images to any exercise; includes a variety of calculators, such as for target heart rate, BMI, BMR, and body fat percentage; an integrated body map of muscles lets you hone in on the specific area you would like to work and provides exercises designed for that muscle group.

Cons: As the name suggests, all the workouts are geared for use in a gym, with all the equipment you would find therein; there are very few workout routines and no cardio offerings; graphical interface seems dated.

Good for: Gym newbies who are looking for proper instruction on how to lift and use gym equipment without injury, or cardio fiends who want to add specified muscle toning to their routines. If you want to record and track workouts, a full version is available for $2.99.

4. FitnessBuilder

Cost: $9.99

Pros: FitnessBuilder comes with a massive library of targeted fitness routines as well as individual exercises; lets you narrow options by your location (gym, hotel room) and goal (core, flexibility); tracks completed workouts by date; includes a variety of calculators and stat trackers; offers a workout builder tool for easily tailoring your own routines.

Cons: It’s expensive for an app, and it would be nice if there was a way to automatically play (properly timed) slideshows of routines to eliminate the need to swipe through each exercise by hand–an audio guide would be even better; it’s not a simple app, and the complexity means it will take time and patience to use it to the fullest; the form used by some of the models is not perfect.

Good for: Experienced fitness freaks, dedicated exercisers who want a large variety of fitness routines with all the bells and whistles available in the palm of their hands, or anyone who wants to get in tip-top shape but can’t afford a personal trainer.5.

5. Wellness Tip of the Day

Cost: Free

Staying fit isn’t just about watching your caloric intake and making sure you hit the gym, streets, or weights at least three to five times per week; it’s also about the overall health of your mind and body. Just counting calories may not be the end-all, be-all when it comes to being in top shape–you may also want to note that drinking cloudy (or pulpy) juice is better for you because it has more antioxidants than the processed stuff. And keeping your brain healthy and happy (by volunteering, for example) makes it more likely you’ll stick with that gym routine. These are just a couple of tidbits offered by the Cleveland Clinic’s Wellness Tip of the Day app.

6. MiMeals

Cost: $1.99

Meal planning and fitness go hand-in-hand; if you have all your meals for the week planned out in advance, you’re more likely to stick to the caloric budget you’ve laid out for yourself. Plus, you’re eliminating the stress of having to scrounge together a healthy meal for dinner off-the-cuff–and you’re less likely to order out at the last minute (it’s extremely difficult to accurately estimate the calories and nutrients in restaurant food). And did I mention you’re probably saving money to boot? MiMeals includes meal planning, recipe storage, and a tickable grocery list feature in order to make it all easier for you, and it’ll only cost you a couple of bucks.

7. iTreadmill

Cost: $0.99

Pros: The app accurately tracks steps, distance, and average speed while in a hand, strapped to an arm, or carried in a pocket or purse; sensor and stride calibrators help you ensure the utmost accuracy; includes a calorie counter and a pacer for setting speed goals.

Cons: The calorie counter is based on weight alone, so it may not be entirely accurate; would be a better treadmill replicator if there was a sensor for detecting incline.

Good for: Walkaholics who constantly carry their devices on them and are trying to reach a step-a-day goal, and couch potatoes who need a nonthreatening way to ease back into fitness.

Happy Exercising!

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You Should Probably NOT Date Her If …

COMFORT FOOD

Some people turn to food for refuge.  When you are feeling stressed or depressed, there is nothing like some comfort food to soothe the weary soul.  Prior to the 21st century, the phrase “comfort food” didn’t even exist.  However, with its increasing use in the 21st century, likely a response to increasingly stressful living conditions, the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary added “comfort food” to its list of 1997 entries, defining it as “food that comforts or affords solace; hence any food (frequently with a high sugar or carbohydrate content) that is associated with childhood or with home cooking.”  Also, ”food prepared in a traditional style having a usually nostalgic or sentimental appeal.” In other words, comfort food may be best thought of as any food consumed by a person during periods of stress that evokes good mood, good times, and positive emotions.

However, comfort foods differ from person to person, and is usually based on the culture the are brought up in.  Here are some examples of comfort foods from around the globe.

Canadian/American Comfort Foods

In a reader’s opinion poll by About.com, the following are the top 25 foods stated as comfort foods by respondents:

Australian Comfort Foods

Vegemite

• Vegemite, meat pies, sausage rolls, fish and chips, chiko rolls, potato cakes, gyros or souvlakis, chocolate crackles, roast lamb, Tim Tams

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British comfort foods

Bangers and Mash

Many of these are childhood favourites and were commonly featured on school dinner menus up to the 1990s.

Soft-boiled Eggs and Toast Soldiers

• Baked beans, Shepherd’s pie, Bangers and mash, Welsh rabbit, Crumpets, Soft-boiled egg and toast soldiers

Welsh Rabbit

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Chinese comfort foods

In Chinese culture the comfort foods might differ between each households. Nevertheless the common theme is usually invoked nostalgic sentiments of home and family. Chinese comfort foods usually served warm, have soft texture and it might be soupy. Some of common Chinese comfort foods are:

• Baozi, Rice congee, Chinese noodles, Dim sum, Dumplings, or anything they serve at No.9

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Filipino comfort foods

Chicken Adobo

• Adobo, Kare-kare, Pancit, Binignit, Puto, Bibingka

    

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French comfort foods

• Croissant, Baguette, Bouillabaisse, Pot au feu

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Japanese comfort foods

• Agedashi tofu, Miso soup, Oden, Okonomiyaki, Onigiri, Ramen, Takoyaki

Okonomoiyaki

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Korean comfort foods

• Kimchi, Tteokbokki, Jjajangmyun, Kimchi Jig, Soondae, Bibimbab, Bulgogi

Soondae: Korean version of Blood sausage

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Malaysian comfort foods

Laksa

• Laksa, Nasi lemak

Nasi Lamek Plate

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Like most people, pastors have good days and bad days too.  Bad, not as in “unlucky” stuff happening, but bad, as in “bad mood”.  When I get in a bad mood or when I am stressed, I tend to be very sarcastic and just kind of moody.  On the worst of the bad days, my tongue is my achilles heel.   I am very often tempted to lash out, like my tongue were a scrourge, ripping into the skin of my victim and gauging chunks of flesh with my words (I am exaggerating…I HOPE! ) The worst part, it is for no good reason.  However, this is not good at all…obviously.  People come to talk to a pastor to get comforted, not critisiced.  They come for encouragement, not exasperated looks.  They want to be built up, not knocked down a few notches.  A place of hope and sanctuary, not despair and exposure.

2.  Clear Signs and Directions:  Another bad thing that can happen when you are trying to escape for your life is not know where you are going or getting lost along the way.  Thus, cities of refuge would have signs stating to the “killer” where to go.

3.  A place of Hope for Israelites, but also for strangers who sojourned among them.  It was open to all, not just the Israelite; no one needs to fear that they would be turned away from their place of refuge in their time of need.

The interesting thing about these cities of refuge is its similarities with the character of Jesus. The Bible applies this picture of the city of refuge to the believer finding refuge in God on more than one occasion:  Psalm 46:1: God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.  More than 15 other times, the Psalms speak of God as our refuge.  Also, Hebrews 6:18: That by two immutable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we might have strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold of the hope set before us.

Furthermore,  Check this out these other prophetic pictures of Jesus seen in the characteristics of the cities of refuge:

• Both Jesus and the cities of refuge are within easy reach of the needy person; they were of no use unless someone could get to the place of refuge.
• Both Jesus and the cities of refuge became a place where the one in need would live; you didn’t come to a city of refuge in time of need just to look around.
• Both Jesus and the cities of refuge are the only alternative for the one in need; without this specific protection, they will be destroyed.
• Both Jesus and the cities of refuge provide protection only within their boundaries; to go outside means death.
• With both Jesus and the cities of refuge, full freedom comes with the death of the High Priest.

Since we are to become more like Christ, then we must ask ourselves the question, are we being cities of refuge to the people around us?  This week, the Holy Spirit is really convicting me in this area.  In the last little while, I haven’t been so vigilant with the words I say and my attitude.  I have let my guard down and the enemy has used it .  As salt and light, we are to be human representation of our heavenly sanctuary, Jesus.  Ultimately, He is our refuge and he is our strength, but we have been called to carry out that mission and be his hands and feet while we are here.  What are your hands and feet doing?  Are they pushing away and kicking?  Or are they embracing and accepting?

Where is your sanctuary?  Who are your places of refuge?  Are you a source of refuge for people?

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(If you are interested in reading more about the sciences behind comfort foods, click HERE for a paper on the social and emotional significance of food.  All the content sources for the paragraphs above is from this paper.)

As if dieting wasn’t hard enough. Even if you have the will power to stick to a diet plan, you may come across much misinformation that could prevent your diet from being truly effective.

Here are some common myths that could derail your diet plans.

Myth #6: You should expect to be hungry while dieting.

Truth: If you cut calories randomly, you’re probably going to feel hungry. On the other hand, if you plan out your day so that you’re replenishing yourself with nutritious foods every three or four hours, you’ll likely feel quite satisfied on significantly fewer calories. Aim to include a source of lean protein (e.g., skim milk, turkey) and fiber (e.g., hummus, carrots) in every meal and snack.

Myth #7:  A sports drink that is high in vitamins and nutrients is a healthier alternative to soda.

It’s easy to think of sports drinks as the healthy alternative at the vending machine, but that’s not always true. For example, a bottle of VitaminWater contains 13 grams of sugar and 50 calories per serving. However, each bottle contains 2.5 servings, so if you chug the whole bottle after a workout, you’ve taken in 125 calories. By comparison, one can of regular Coca-Cola has 140 calories.

Sports drinks may contain a good supply of vitamins and minerals, but it can still be high in sugar and calories. And some of the added vitamins and minerals may also not be required if you are already eating a healthy diet.

WHAT YOU CAN START DOING RIGHT NOW…

Most people have a hard time over-hauling their eating and lifestyle habits.  However, what you can do to start on the right track is to make small changes in your eating by shaving 100 calories here and there.  Here are some ideas, as to how to shave 100 calories from you meals:

100 Calorie Saver #1: Order your coffee with nonfat milk

Order your coffee with nonfat milk instead of cream and sugar. For a 12-ounce size, this will free up about 100 calories. If you need a little sweetness (and are OK with consuming artificial sweeteners), you can add a little Splenda.

100 Calorie Saver #2: Trade in your Coke (any pop) for soda water mixed with some slices of oranges

A can of regular coke has 140 calories.  While you may argue that Coke Zero or diet soda has zero calories, studies have shown that diet sodas lead to weight gain, sugar cravings, and accumulation of belly fat.  Also, a brand new study just released in February 2012, has linked diet soda to higher risk of stroke and heart attack (see article—> HERE).  So, ditch the pop and drink water.  However, if you are craving a carbonated beverage, try mixing some seltzer water (Perrier or San Pellegrino) and slice some fresh oranges or lemon, for a refreshing and bubbly beverage.

100 Calorie Saver #3: Ditch the chips, have popcorn

Some snack chips aren’t so bad for your health but you do have to account for their calories. A 1.5-oz. bag of SunChips, for example, has 210 calories. If you have 3 cups of air-popped popcorn (a whole grain!), you’ll cut the calorie count in half (about 90 calories).

100 Calorie Saver #4: Lose the top piece of bread on your sandwich

An open-face sandwich is often just as satisfying as one with double the bread. Isn’t the filling the best part anyway?  Here is a recipe to get you started:

Grilled Eggplant Parmesan Sandwich

From EatingWell:  September/October 2008

Our healthier eggplant Parmesan sandwich uses tender, smoky grilled eggplant instead of fried, so it has a fraction of the fat and calories. To make these sandwiches a cinch to prepare, make sure to have all your ingredients ready before you head out to the grill.

4 servings | Active Time: 45 minutes | Total Time: 45 minutes

Ingredients

• 1 large eggplant, (1 1/4-1 1/2 pounds), cut into 12 1/4-inch-thick rounds
• Canola or olive oil cooking spray
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 3 tablespoons finely shredded Parmesan, or Asiago cheese
• 1/2 cup shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese
• 4 small pieces focaccia bread, or rustic Italian bread
• 2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil
• 5 ounces baby spinach
• 1 cup crushed tomatoes, preferably fire-roasted
• 3 tablespoons chopped fresh basil, divided

Preparation

1. Preheat grill to medium-high.
2. Place eggplant rounds on a baking sheet and sprinkle with salt. Coat both sides lightly with cooking spray. Combine Parmesan (or Asiago) and mozzarella in a small bowl. Brush both sides of focaccia (or bread) with oil.
3. Place spinach in a large microwave-safe bowl. Cover with plastic wrap and punch several holes in the wrap. Microwave on High until wilted, 2 to 3 minutes. Combine tomatoes and 2 tablespoons basil in a small microwave-safe bowl. Cover and microwave until bubbling, about 2 minutes.
4. Place all your ingredients on the baking sheet with the eggplant and take it to the grill. Grill the eggplant slices until brown and soft on both sides, 2 to 3 minutes per side. Grill the bread until toasted, about 1 minute per side. Return the eggplant and bread to the baking sheet. Reduce grill heat to medium.
5. Place 1 eggplant round on top of each slice of bread. Layer 1 tablespoon tomatoes, 1 tablespoon wilted spinach and 1 tablespoon cheese on each slice of eggplant. Repeat with the remaining eggplant, sauce, spinach and cheese. Sprinkle each stack with some of the remaining basil. Place the baking sheet on the grill, close the lid and grill until the eggplant stack is hot and the cheese is melted, 5 to 7 minutes.

Nutrition

Per serving : 291 Calories; 8 g Fat; 2 g Sat; 3 g Mono; 12 mg Cholesterol; 48 g Carbohydrates; 12 g Protein; 9 g Fiber; 756 mg Sodium; 526 mg Potassium

Among the greatest stories ever told, none pulls more sweetly at the heartstrings than the one about the Comeback Kid. The fall from grace followed by the rise to glory. The hero down in the count or left in the dust, then making the come-from-behind move at the last minute, to end victoriously!

Most of the world’s greatest people—those who have achieved the pinnacle of success in their chosen fields–have known what it’s like to take a great fall. However, history remembers them because they refused to stay down. Instead, they picked themselves back up again, and kept going. Below you’ll find some remarkable comeback stories.

Here is a list of 7 Great Comeback Stories (in random order):

Ganzfeld Procedure

At first this might sound like a bad practical joke. Begin by tuning a radio to a station playing static. Then lie down on a couch and tape a pair of halved ping pong ballsover your eyes. Within minutes you should begin to experience a bizzare set of sensory distortions. Some people see horses prancing in the clouds or hear the voice of a dead relative. It turns out that the mind is addicted to sensation so that when there’s little to sense (that’s the purpose of ping pong balls and static) your brain ends up inventing its own.

Shrink your Pain

In case you experience an injury, then see the injured part with an inverted binoculars, soon your pain will seem to be decreasing in its magnitude. Recently, a reasearch at Oxford University has lead to the discovery of a new pain killer – the inverted binoculars. The scientists demonstrated that the subjects who looked at their wounded hands through wrong end of the binoculars, making the hand appear smaller, experienced significantly less pain and decreased swelling. According to the researchers, this demonstrates that even basic bodily sensations such as pain are modulated by what we see. So next time if you stub your toe or cut a finger, do yourself a favour, look away!

Confuse your Proprioreception

This requires two chairs and a blind fold. The person wearing the blindfold should sit in the rear chair, staring at the back of the person sitting in the front. The blindfolded person then reach around and place his hand on the nose of the other person. At the same time he should place his other hand on his own nose and begin gently stroking both noses. After about 1 minute, more than 50% of the subjects report their nose as incredibly long. Therefore this is called Pinocchio’s Effect. The Pinocchio effect  is an illusion that ones nose is growing longer, as happened to the literary character, Pinocchio when he told a lie. It is an illusion of proprioception, reviewed by Lackner (1988). To explain the effect the other way, a vibrator is applied to the biceps tendon while one holds one’s nose with the hand of that arm. The vibrator stimulates muscle spindles in the biceps that would normally be stimulated by the muscle’s stretching, creating a kinesthetic illusion that the arm is moving away from the face. Because the fingers holding the nose are still giving tactile information of being in contact with the nose, it appears that the nose is moving away from the face too, in a form of perceptual capture. Similar phenomenon happens using the blindfolded method.

Confuse your Mindedness

Lift your right foot a few inches from the floor and then begin to move it in a clockwise direction. While you’re doing this, use a finger your right index finger to draw a number 6 in the air. Your foot will turn in an anticlockwise direction and there’s nothing you can do about it! The left side of your brain, which controls the right side of your body, is responsible for rhythm and timing. The left side of your brain cannot deal with operating two opposite movements at the same time and so it combines them into a single motion.

Confuse your Hearing

This can be performed with three people, one being subject and other two objects/ observers and we also need a headset connected to routine plastic pipes on the either side. Ask the subject to sit on a chair equidisant between you and the second observer. Now each one of you hold the pipes from the headset on the corresponding sides and one by one speak into the pipes. The subject will rightly tell the direction of the sound. Now exchange the pipes and repeat voicing into the pipes. The subject’s brain will get confused and he’ll point in the opposite direction of sound. Sound localization is a listener’s ability to identify the location or origin of a detected sound in direction and distance or the methods in acoustical engineering to simulate the placement of an auditory cue in a virtual 3D space. The human auditory system has only limited possibilities to determine the distance of a sound source, mainly based on inter-aural time differences, exchanging the pipes would cause perception by the opposite sided neurons in the brain only and thus the subject will not be able to localize the sound.

Confuse your Depth Perception

Depth perception is the visual ability to perceive the world in three dimensions (3D). Looking at a sight that you have not seen before or entering into a 3d cinema with one eyes closed will alter the way your mind perceives things. This would not happen for most already seen things because your brain is tuned to judge the time and space accurately. However, your brain will not be able to fill the gap if you use one eye. Depth perception arises from a variety of depth cues. These are typically classified into binocular cues that require input from both eyes and monocular cues that require the input from just one eye. Binocular cues include stereopsis, yielding depth from binocular vision through exploitation of parallax. Since (by definition), binocular depth perception requires two functioning eyes, a person with only one functioning eye has no binocular depth perception. And hence stepping into a 3d cinema will not be an amazing phenomenon as it used to be. This is more so in people who are blinded with one eye by birth.

Confuse your photoreception

Stare at the central point (plus sign) of the black and white picture for at least 30 seconds and then look at a wall near you, you will see a bright spot, twinkle a few times, what do you see? or even who do you see?

Now do another trick to confuse your photoreceptors. This will temporarily blind you from one eye (for around 30 seconds and don’t worry it is of no harm) Go into a room, shut the door and turn out the lights so that the room is mostly dark. Wait until your eyes adapt to the darkness. You should be able to make out the basic shapes of the room from the tiny bit of light coming in from under the door. Next, close your right eye and cover it with your hand. Turn the light on, keeping your eye closed and covered. Leave the light on for about a minute or until your left eye has adapted to the light. Uncover your eye and look around the darkened room. What do you see? What you might experience is an illusion discovered by researcher Uta Wolfe in which it seems that your left eye is closed, even though it is open. The explaination to this is the visual cycle that takes time to be adapted, when it is not adapted as for the left eye, the eye will send wrong signals to the brain thus image would be darkened for the left eye until it adapts.

Confuse your Cognition

Take a look at the spinning girl. Do you see it spinning clockwise or counter-clockwise? I see it spinning counter-clockwise, but i was able to switch it in the other direction, its hard for many people. Give it a try. The spinning girl is a form of the more general spinning silhouette illusion. The image is not objectively “spinning” in one direction or the other. It is a two-dimensional image that is simply shifting back and forth. But our brains did not evolve to interpret two-dimensional representations of the world but the actual three-dimensional world. So our visual processing assumes we are looking at a 3-D image and is uses clues to interpret it as such. Or, without adequate clues it may just arbitrarily decide a best fit – spinning clockwise or counterclockwise. And once this fit is chosen, the illusion is complete – we see a 3-D spinning image. By looking around the image, focusing on the shadow or some other part, you may force your visual system to reconstruct the image and it may choose the opposite direction, and suddenly the image will spin in the opposite direction.

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CAN WE TRUST OUR OWN PERCEPTION? People tend to think of perception as a passive process. We see, hear, smell, taste or feel stimuli that impinge upon our senses. We think that if we are at all objective, we record what is actually there. Yet perception is demonstrably an active rather than a passive process; it constructs rather than records “reality.” Perception implies understanding as well as awareness. It is a process of inference in which people construct their own version of reality on the basis of information provided through the five senses. Of course our senses often really do play tricks on us. The scintillating grid fools the eye.

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In the illustration a grid appears normal in the center, yet the left and right areas are irregular and incoherent. If you stare at the center of the grid for a few minutes, the grid will miraculously heal itself and you will perceive a perfect grid. In reality, the grid is still incoherent but your mind will perceive it as a perfect grid. This is because your mind is strongly influenced by your past experiences, education, cultural values and role requirements as well as by the stimuli recorded by their receptor organs. Your mind expects the grid to be a perfect grid and makes it so. Perception is also skewed by the observer’s own expectations, assumptions and preconceptions. One classic experiment to demonstrate the influence of expectations on perception is the “great playing card switch up.”  In this experiment they took regular playing cards and altered them so that the spades were red and the hearts black. Pictures of the cards were flashed briefly on a screen and, needless to say, the test subjects identified the normal cards more quickly and accurately than the changed ones. After test subjects became aware of the existence of red spades and black hearts, their performance with the changed cards improved but still did not approach the speed or accuracy with which normal cards could be identified.

This experiment shows that patterns of expectation become so deeply embedded that they continue to influence perceptions even when people are alerted to and try to take account of the existence of data that do not fit their preconceptions. Trying to be objective does not ensure accurate perception.  In other words, even when you aware that you have preconceptions, it is not enough to guarantee 100% correct perception.

Here is another example.  In the next illustration, read the colors of the words aloud. The colors not the words.

This task is difficult, as I’m sure you’ve discovered. Not only is it difficult but it is resistant to practice. The difficulty of removing the interference effect of the words when trying to state the colors is because our brains are conditioned to recognize words without effort. In other words, people see the meaning or words without much effort or consciousness. On the other hand, naming colors is not automatic. It requires more effort than reading, thus creating interference in this simple task. Our pattern of the expectation of reading words is so deeply embedded it cannot be turned off and creates the interference with the task of naming colorus.

The Implications for Dating and Marriage

The position of the test subject identifying the red and black playing cards is analogous to that of a man or woman trying to make sense of all the potential mates they cross paths with. What is actually perceived when we meet these members of the opposite sex, as well as how it is interpreted depends in part, at least, on the dater’s patterns of expectation.  People seeking marriage partners do not just have expectations about the color of hearts and spades. They have a set of assumptions and expectations about what is attractive and unattractive, what makes a good potential marriage partner, and a certain “type” they think is good for them.  People consistent with these expectations are perceived and processed easily leading to “like”, while people that contradict prevailing expectations tend to be ignored or distorted in perception, and considered,  ”not my type.” Of course, this distortion is a subconscious or pre‑conscious process, in other words, you are not aware that you are doing this.

THOUGHT EXPERIMENTS

Look at the illustration. Do not read further content until you guess as to what the illustration might represent.

Expectations come from a variety of sources, including past experience, professional training, and cultural and organizational norms. All these influences predispose us to pay particular attention to certain kinds of information and to organize and interpret this information in certain ways. Perception is also influenced by the context in which it occurs. Now, suppose I tell you the illustration contains the face of a cow. Can you find it? You will find it if you expect to find it. Patterns of expectations tell us, subconsciously, what to look for, what is important, and how to interpret what is seen. These patterns form a mind‑set that predisposes the black and white spaces to organize themselves in such a way that you can perceive the face of a cow.

This perception is formed on the basis of very little information (i.e., you were told the illustration contained the picture of a cow.). Once people form impressions on the basis of very little information, they do not reject or change them unless they obtain rather solid evidence. The early but incorrect impression tends to persist because the amount of information necessary to invalidate a hypothesis is considerably greater than the amount of information required to make an initial interpretation. The problem is not that there is any inherent difficulty in grasping new perceptions or new ideas, but that established perceptions are extremely difficult to change (Hello?  Does this sound like anyone you know!) I promise you that every time from now on you see this illustration, you will immediately see the face of the cow.

The phenomena mentioned in this article has been observed in wine tasting experiments.  They take expensive wine and put it in a cheap bottle and vice versa. They then serve it up for some wine experts.  The wine experts sure enough give the wine in the expensive bottle a thumbs up.

The reason: ”When tasting what they think is good wine, they are looking at what is good about it and ignore all the rest (there mind does it automatically based on expectations), when tasting what they think is cheap wine, they are looking at what is bad about it and ignore everything that is good (again without conscious awareness).”

Implication: Wine prices are determined by ‘wishful thinking’ more than quality, because the quality for the most part is illusory as demonstrated in many many experiments.

Another experiment: They take good high quality wine and poor low quality wine, serve them up and hand out the glasses to experts and non-experts. This time they don’t know what is good and what isn’t. They show that the experts aren’t so expert after all since they have nothing to base there expectations on whilst naive people can say with better accuracy what is the expensive wine and what is the cheap wine since they have no expectations as they don’t know much about wine.

Implication: Expectation can cause havoc especially to those who claim great knowledge if they somehow can’t find a way to balance it off with a sort of youthful naivety! (Source:  Psychology Today)

HOW THOUGHT PERCEPTION CAN MESS WITH US WHEN FINDING A MARRIAGE PARTNER

If the statement from above is true, that “once people form impressions on the basis of very little information, they do not reject or change them unless they obtain rather solid evidence.  The problem is not that there is any inherent difficulty in grasping new perceptions or new ideas, but that established perceptions are extremely difficult to change,”  then that means that many single people have tossed aside perfectly good potential mates because that person did not make a good first impression.

How often have we discounted and rejected people because they did not initially meet our subconscious set of expectations and criteria?  How often have we given people the “once over” and then decided that it is a “no-go”?  How often do we choose people not as how God sees them, but based on what the world dictates as attractive and not attractive?  Based on the evidence that I have provided, it is evident that our mind and our perception can play tricks on us and that it is considerably unreliable, even in the most simplest of tasks.  Could this be applied to our choice in future marriage partners?  Most likely.  However, I am not saying our senses our completely unreliable, but I am underscoring that we might need to reconsider how we have been choosing or rejecting people.  Should we give some people a second glance to make a better second first impression? Should we consider dating people that is generally not our “type”?  Should we give people a chance before making snap judgments?  Most likely.

However, here is the problem.  If you actually try to do this, you might find yourself struggling because your mind is just screaming, “I AM NOT ATTRACTED TO THIS PERSON” or “HE/SHE IS NOT MY TYPE”, arrggghhhhh!  Here are some tips on how to change in this area:

1.  Change Your Dating Paradigm

The only way you can change your dating paradigm from a “worldly” one to a “godly” one is to renew your mind.  But, I know for some, that just sounds too abstract.  One way I can suggest is to start by actively meeting and getting to know people that are, “not your type.”  Then, before you make a judgement about them as suitable or unsuitable, get to know them first and trying envisioning how God would see them.  Ask yourself, how does God view (insert name here)?  What are some godly qualities Jane Doe has?

Also, another suggestion I can offer is that a person should try to recognize and distinguish the non-essentials from the essentials.  For some people, a man with no hair is a deal breaker or age might be a deal breaker.  Are these really deal breakers?  Can you not see past the surface and see the heart of person before making your decision?  Do you want someone to judge you and toss you in the same way?  I don’t.  I don’t ever want to be reduced down to my hair, or my weight, or my face.  I am so much more and so are they and so are you!

An additional way to renew your mind is to read books and listen to sermons on dating and how to choose a partner.  Obviously, you need some discernment on which books to read (ask you pastor for suggestions).  The basic idea is to fill your brain with information that will counteract what you see in movies, music, magazines, Kim Kardashian, and such.  Sort of like shocking your system to come back in alignment with God.

2.  Get a Godly Second Opinion

If we go with the premise, we cannot trust our own perception, then who can we trust?  Get a godly second opinion, or three or four. Having a godly parent or godly spiritual parents, mentors, etc. is invaluable when it comes to dating.  They see more than we do because they have a wealth of wisdom and experience under their belt.  Also, they love us and want the best for us.  Obviously, they are not perfect, but it is wise for a person wanting to date to seek an outside opinion when it come to choosing future marriage partners.

3.  Try Speed-Dating

What better way to meet and talk to all sorts of people than to go speed dating.  Speed dating will allow you to meet many people in a short amount of time.  Also, you will talk to people you normally don’t or won’t talk to.  Once again, this is not necessarily the recommended way to meet your future wife or husband, but it certainly is a good way to change your dating paradigm!  Also, you might be pleasantly surprised at what you will discover.  You’ll never know, unless you try.   If there is a speed dating event near you, you should get on that right away! Readers, my prayer for all of us, single people is that we get some Godly perception and that we don’t cheat ourselves out of marriage because our paradigm and our perception is out of whack!  Please, go try something new! ~EL

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